Beyonce is a clever bonce with Yonce

Never one to miss a marketing opportunity, Beyonce released a 'secret' album last Friday just in time for Christmas. No humility for this clever star with the self-titled album selling over half a million copies over the weekend.

Jay Z's wifey has again used her musical talent to promote awareness of black models, taking the baton from Noami Campbell. In her latest video Chanel Iman, Joan Smalls and Jordan Dunn reveal their midriffs and pout in true model fashion.

A worthy cause to champion and a super smoking video to boot, but is it just me or is Beyonce morphing into Rhianna? The cut off denim hot pants and mixed leather biker appear to be a homage to the twenty five year old pop singer. Is Bey fearful of her crown? Or could there be a pop collaboration on the cards?

Little Boots??!!

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I am going for the minimalist vibe this aw/13. My blog posts headlines have been shortened considerably. No pithy pun this time, just one word is enough. I do believe one word is underrated - it can say more than 50 such regurgitated waffle of mine.

As every woman in her right, or indeed, wrong mind will agree, boots are must buy autumn purchase along with a new coat (I update every year which does mean I have a few coats at home keeping warm in a wardrobe). This year I have to admit that I am loving the thigh high.

Okay it means you need to have the legs of Alexa Chung or Kate Moss's body double in the new Stuart Weitzman video campaign: http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news-features/TMG10319674/Kate-Moss-struts-her-stuff-in-Stuart-Weitzman-boots-made-for-walking.html

And side bar here, why does Kate Moss need a leg double? Why did Julia Roberts in the Pretty Woman film poster?  Both women have better pins now than I did at fifteen years of age. It beggars belief.

And there is the unwanted prostitute association/look to contend with when wearing said boots to local pub. But just take one look at Olivia Palermo at Carven's ss/14 show and it is undeniable that I just must have a pair. Soften the slutty connotations by teaming with skinny jeans and peter pan collar girlie blouse.

My words have been shortened but my boots have been lengthened. Kisses.

Do the Shop-Bop

Google Image of Freja Beha modelling her new collection for Mother

Being quite the traditionalist that I am it can often take me awhile (ten years or so) to catch onto a new trend. The cynic inside me asks questions and takes a dubious approach regarding said new trend's credibility. I wait for a safe amount of time for it to be thoroughly vetted. But if everyone is online shopping now I think I might give it a go.

Don't get me wrong, I have had the odd flirtation online. A pair of western boots from boohoo.com and a promotional offer on a pair of Swedish Hasbeens. But that is as far as it has gone. Until now.

As I have decided to unofficially re-name September Denim month due to the fact that Selfridges have got a new wall dedicated to denim and Karlie Kloss has collaborated with the brand Frame Denim. Now Danish model Freja Beha has created a line for American jeans brand, Mother. A grunge rock type infusion of style (my favourite fashion fusion), the collections include a stonewash skinny entitled The Muse, diamante embellishment called The Crystal Cove and the Foxy Boxy for high-waist lovers.  10% of all proceeds go to the Médecins Sans Frontières charity so guilt free fit jeans. It is available on shopbop.com in September... like two days away!

Frances Ha laughs longest

Micky Sumner and Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha, Google Image

Incredibly funny, down-to-earth and instantly likeable is how I would describe Greta Gerwig and that would almost be a disservice to her on - screen talent. Described as 'undateable' playing the lead role of Frances Ha in the same titled film, she gives ample opportunity for the audience to think the exact opposite. As a person who strives for a polished Golden Globes appearance every time I step out of my front doorstep, I could only admire Sophie (played by Micky Sumner) and Frances's (Greta Gerwig) effortless chic.

Diane Keaton and Woody Allen in Annie Hall

With echoes of Woody Allen's 1970's cult hit, Annie Hall, the black and white shot film showed how to look like a hip New York creative; meaning your clothes are a denotation of your philosophy on life rather than being a slave to the pages of a glossy fashion editorial. It was a joy to behold that girls who wear glasses and layer dresses over leggings could be seen as modern style icons. Real, cute and very clever.

Marc has made his mark

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Being the sharpest pencil in the box, I have not overlooked the Marc Jacobs collaboration with American stationery giant, Sharpie. Nothing quite makes a point like a Sharpie and what is the point of a pen without a designer seal of approval? I have always shown respect for the brand since taking the writing instrument out of the box and transforming it into a must-have accessory on a key chain.

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On the other side of the pond, cosmetics retailer, Sephora is launching a make-up line with the fashion designer due to hit their stores in August. It will be the whole shibang from foundation to nail lacquer. Sad to say the range will not be hitting our shores until Spring 2014, but it is guaranteed that I will not be drawing a line under a chance to grab 'The Magic Mac'er' eyeliner pen.

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Gasp as Gatsby swing's into town

The Great Gatsby 2013 film, Google Image

Fashion adores tortured men: Don Draper, Harry Gordon Selfridge and of course, Gatsby. It is the unwrapping of the seductive layer to find the deep, dark secrets within. No outer shell can look so good without some skeletons in the closet and as we all know that is exactly the allure.

The Great Gatsby must be the most over - hyped film of the last year, especially since its release date was put back (only to gain momentum on the hype) with fashion expectations simultaneously reaching fever pitch.

The Great Gatsby 2013 film, Google Image

I hate to be the one who is a cynic here, but how exactly will Gatsby fit into the SS13 trends? I thought 1920's flapper had already been revived, worn and discarded as a fleeting flight of fancy? Maybe it is just that I am channelling sportswear luxe to the max I can hardly imagine dolling myself up to the nines, then hottrotting myself out the door in a feather boa and sequins.

That said I am partial to a gin and tonic.....

I Have Never...

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Did you ever play that game when you were younger, "I have never.." It was usually followed by a garbled confession while simultaneously knocking back a shot of vodka. Pah! I can almost taste those shameful bygone days. I must confess: "I have never ... stepped foot in Harrods". But I really never have gone into Harrods. I am not sure why this rite of passage in a shopaholic's life has passed me by, I am a London and one from the West, it seems an easy distance.

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At Christmas time my mum and I marvelled at the Selfridges shop window and visited the Santa's grotto in that department store. I see Liberty's as a thing of beauty, traditional with an English eccentricity and charm, feeling a wonderous amount of pleasure entering its doors. Harrods, however I have been able to resist.

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Do I morally object to the Harrods Zoo? I don't think so. The strict regulation of not wearing jeans (is this still a rule? Google entry needed) Perhaps. Whatever my reasons, the embargo now needs to be lifted. Dior has colloborated with the upmarket store.

It is understandable that Harrods feel they needed to bring in the big guns as focus as been on Selfridges, with the Andrews Davis adaptation of 'Shopping, Seduction & Mr Selfridge' being cult Sunday night viewing (already looking forward to the next series). I could just gaze at the window displays from outside, but inside there is a House of Dior exhibition where you can marvel at vintage dresses from the designer. Lots of other treats are in-house for a month including the most fashionable looking fairy cakes with Dior handbags glazed on the icing. It could be a vertiable house of cards but it has got to be done. This time next week I will be confessing, "I have never visited Harrods" with a shot of vodka in my hand. Purchasing an item, now that is a different matter...

And now for some Other Stories

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I am excited by the name, I have already picked out pieces to buy from the collection, all I have to do now is visit the new & Other Stories store on Regent Street which launched just two days ago. The idea of a new store only really 'wows' me when it is combined with being a new brand to discover and fall in love with.

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From the folks who bought us H&M comes a store with a more expensive price tag which appears to focus on more minimalist pieces with less emphasis on throw away fashion. Finally high street shops have realised that cheap does not always sell to the most savvy stylistas out there.

H&M will always have a special place in my heart - but only mainly for producing the modern collection in its stores. It sometimes feels like a double edged sword when I take a trip there because you feel you are getting a a great separate for a bargain but then a surge of guilt rises when you realise that you a getting a great separate for a bargain. It is like gorging on a McDonalds meal deal. A great moment followed by regret.

& Other Stories will hopefully have more cache and make feel like a less hollow individual when I walk through its doors. We will have to wait and see whether the shiny and new wrapper has longevity.

http://and-other-stories.tumblr.com

Juergen tells it

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Photography is an integral part of the business that we call fashion. It is so glaringly obvious that even a lowly fashion writer takes a backseat. Pictorial fashion blogs are instagraming their way into the public's consciousness so fast that people forget that before the camera there was the inkwell and quill. Who am I am to disagree with this 21st century way of communicating the trends? What better way to capture an outfit or new SS collection than with a click of a button?

I was reminded of this fact when last Sunday I visited Juergen Teller: Woo at the ICA. His raw images pemeate like none other, as you turn the pages of your latest copy of Vogue the trademark Juergen Teller advertorial stands out for not being ultra slick.

The Victorial Beckham legs out of shopping bag image for the Marc Jacobs reveals another side to the normally never-seen-without sunglasses and Birkin tote brand. In a world of retouching and camera wizardry it is refreshing to come across a more 'warts and all', backstage door to the underbelly of the fashion world and gain a little bit more access to the 'VIP' area.

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His latest Vivienne Westwood campaign is no exception, with his favourite muse Kate Moss staunchily staring into the camera. At the Woo exhibition I discovered the iconic image of Moss in a wheelbarrow was the product of a nightmare trip with the model. Teller describes his legs becoming so sunburnt they swelled up and rubbed together and being woken up by huge grotesque toads making love in the middle of the night. I did wonder if this anecdote seemed fitting as there is motif of sex that reverberates through his work, the full fontal shot of Westwood as you enter the space testifies this, however I feel the naked appendages are more about uncovering the person's soul than they are about sexiness.

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Juergen Teller: Woo is on at the ICA until March 17 2013

Oh Yes O!

In fashion, at one time or another, or in January everyone is looking for the new, 'new'. What is the newest trend that is so fresh even the designers have not drawn it yet? The casting for Autumn 2012 was that black was the new black. It appears that we have tired of some fashions to the extent that they have come full circle and we are reinventing colour.

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I will be the first (and rubbernecking to the front of the queue I literally mean this) to admit I like to sniff out the latest designer or item to be seen wearing. Donning my earcuff, singing along to Destiny's Child's latest offering and leaving my house in at least one item of leather upon my person I found out about an understated yet pretty lingerie brand. It is called Oyosho. 

Just as I am beginning to fall out of love for Zara I discover I am crushing on a new bra sensation who is owned by the same company, Inditex. I am still in full honeymoon haze wanting to own everything on the website and at around £6 for a dainty black lace bra I could almost reach that goal.

Even the advertising campaign has echoes of early 90's supermodel casting, so for the moment, in effort to stay in the new, I mean now, I say:"Oh yes to Oyosho!"

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Valentino: Artist for the Aristocracy

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Know your nervature from your pagine? Unless you have been to the Valentino: Master of Couture at Somerset House recently, or you work on the designer's dresses or you are in fact Valentino Clemente Ludovico Garavani himself then these terms may have passed you by. 

Pagine refers to the organza specific to Valentino's couture gowns. Oraganza is used in piles to create a page effect unique to his atelier. Impressive is the intricacy of his work and the sheer amount of beading used to create one of these ostentatious one off pieces alone. But to be aware of never having the amenity to own one makes you feel that there is a point where fashion balances on the shoulders of the upper eschelons of society. 

136 dresses are exhibited on a long converbelt, purposely built to showcase the Italian's artistry to the general public. In some respects I could have been at Madame Tussaud's surveying a recent waxwork sculpture or looking upon Dante's Inferno at Tate Britain. Something sinister, awe - inspiring even, yet allowing for a certain amount of detachment. It never fully engages the onlooker. The outfits are even more lifeless when displayed on a mannequin. I truly believe woman maketh the outfit rather than the other way around. 

As I will never go to a ball or meet the Obama's or marry the next King I feel all I can do is gaze at the gowns as one does through a snow globe, peeking entry to a world that is covered in mikado silk, tulle and paillette disks- one I will never set foot in. 

Red Valentino, Google Image

Shine bright like a diamond or other jewel

It is said that in times of austerity we become much more conscious of our appearance. Glamour and opulence come to the fore. Men wear suits and women don their finest accessories. Just look at any period of history when a recession has peaked, for example the Prohibition era. Most women would not look out of place in those times wrapped in a fur stole with diamond earrings of an evening.

It is difficult to be cautious and beautifully attired. I have tried to resist the allure of the cheaper high street store and found myself succumbing like a kid in a candy store. But with true testament to the saying: "All that glitters is not gold", I have had to learn the hard way with green fingers, holes in tops and splits in heels after only two months of wear.

For those of you looking for adding extra dazzle to any outfit which is worth the investment, then discover Lydia Courteille's handcrafted gems.

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One time designer for Dior you know you are buying something very special indeed. From skulls to roses there is a piece to suit your mood and the oversized rings will ensure you are way ahead of next season's trends.

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Alexa Won

There has been an unprecedented occurence. I am prempting it as I mean to say there will be an unprecedented occurence: featuring Alexa Cheung twice on my blog in one month. Credit where it is due she deserves an award for her versatile style. The crown has been passed (unofficially) down from Queen Kate at the British Fashion Awards as she won the Style Icon award. In this post I am going to select my favourite outfits of the chung in the last year, seeing as it is very nearly 2013.

Who would have thought a buttoned shirt with leather dress with echoes of dominatrix would work? The Chung rocks it at the Met Ball. The Fifty Shades of Grey generation of sexy secretary.

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Leopard plus fashion multiply Alexa equals a very cool holiday outfit. I wish I was reclining by a beach location in those cherry sandals and not de-thawing my toes whilst watching I'm A Celebrity.

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Who said in the summer that you cannot wear long sleeves with shorts? Just as I was about to throw out my Converse, Miss Chung gave me a reason to make them stay in the wardrobe.

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And let's face it she made and owned the androgynous look.

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She is the reason we own a leather biker jacket, a pair of loafers, trench coat, a chainmail bag and a polka dot playsuit. I cannot wait to see what she will pull out of her hat next. But one thing is for sure is a copycat of that hat will be on the shelves of every high street store in the land.

Ginsburg is still God

Two things I learnt last Friday night: Bella Freud was an assistant to Vivienne Westwood and Ginsburg is still God. This was at an evening hosted by the V&A in which Hadley Freeman, the Guardian writer interviewed Bella about her career which now spans over thirty years. It was an intimate affair and made me feel that the V&A is a tardis due to never realising there were so many rooms and lecture theatres at the back. Away from the main entrance and the throng milling in for the Hollywood Costume exhibition were a tight - knit core waiting for the youthful and sparkly - eyed fashion designer.

Kate Moss wearing 'Ginsburg is God' jumper

Freeman's interview went as far back as her childhood and growing up with having a world - renowned artist as a father, she said: "He treated it like an other professional job and worked those same long hours." When Bella told her father she wanted to pursue a career in fashion and attend art college, he replied: "But I thought you like doing nothing." This was relayed with humour as Lucien Freud designed the dog icon which can been seen on many of her knitwear pieces, showing his support for his daughter's chosen path.

Alexa Chung in 'J'taime Jane' an adage to Jane Birkin

Other anecdotes littered the conversation including Bella recalling the early burgeoning of success in the nineties with her 'Ginsburg is God' sweater. She told the audience that one day she heard a knock on her door and when opening it there was an excitable Japanese fan who could barely speak English but kept repeating: "Ginsburg is God!' Instead of being galled by this occurence Bella said she loved the fact that her fans were so determined to buy her line that they would turn up on her doorstep. Of course in the English tradition she invited the exciteable youngster in for a cup of tea.

The dog icon designed by Lucien Freud

And her fans were not just the fashion lovers in the Far East but she managed to accrue a cult following amongst the celebrity set in England. Very much a designer proud of her roots it was only right that Kate Moss should be seen with the slogan: 'Ginsburg is God' emblazoned across her chest, which by Freud's own admission created more of a buzz than any of her catwalk shows. Another time Bella recalls Jane Birkin calling her on the telephone about this design and personally congratulating her on re - focusing everyone's attention to the poetic genius. This conversation led Bella to feel she should create a phrase dedicated to Jane and hence: 'J'taime Jane' was born and worn by another well- coveted style guru, Alexa Chung.

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Bella Freud has worked with many British stalwarts in the past including Vivienne Westwood who she used to make lunch for in her flat and designed colletions for Miss Selfridge and Jaeger. Coming out of the lecture theatre I felt that Bella Freud has slightly been hidden away as an English charm and there should be a revival.  We should not be chanting 'Viva Forever' but 'Ginsburg is God.' 

Such stuff as dreams are made on

Lily Cole, Tim Walker, Google Image

Stand back, make way, roll up roll up.. the genius that is Tim Walker is in town. In each epoch or era there is a unique person who strikes out to tell stories which are head and shoulders above the rest. Before the invention of the printing press Shakespeare allowed his to unfold on the stage, Dickens sought celebrity through monthly periodicals, Roald Dahl, in the form of a paperback and Tim Burton projected his onto film.

Photographer Tim Walker's does not use words but his tales are just as powerful. His visual spectacles are the equivalent of triple chocolate treacle sundae that you feast upon until it dribbles down your chin. His fashion shoots encapsulate many different mediums: performance, literature, art and photography which leave you reeling like you have just dismounted a roller coaster ride from a freaky world.

Mulberry, Where The Wild Things Are A/W12 Campaign

His latest campaign for Mulberry has totally metamorphised the fashion giant from one that lay like a dormant bovine to a beefed up beast you would not want to mess with. In a similar way to the artist Dali, Walker plays on the idea of humanity's fragility, showing models dwarfed against a gargantuan ice cream cone, craddled next to a alligator or entangled in a tree's branch. There is often a clear and ever present sense of danger in his photography.

Models are in the thick of the action unlike a passive clothes horse their poses are suggestive of a fantasy world of dress up. His pictures emphasise the idea that you are a protagonist in your own fashion story and another outfit is a chance to play act.

Tim Walker: Storyteller opens tomorrow at Somerset House and runs until 27th January 2013.

We have some making up to do

Carine Roitfield, Google image

Smashing and boxing Carine Roitfield the MAC daddy out of the park is the US heavyweight, Smashbox for Boots. 

Sounding much like a voiceover for a movie blockbuster, which means you will forgive it as I have mentioned it, this autumn two cosmetics giants go head to head for most innovative beauty products to hit the British market.

I must commend Boots for unburdening women of the UK from watching QVC to order the Smashbox Photo Finish Primer by transferring it to its shelves and thus making it more accessible to all. But does that make it less desirable? I will admit to looking at the stand in the shop and not feeling the frisson of excitement that comes over me when a new make up line is released.

Boots Smasbox 'wish list', Google image

If the packaging did not have Smashbox written on it you may be forgiven for thinking it was a re - funk of Boots economy range Collection 2000, which by its name alone is outdated. On closer expection (of the price tag) you will find the most exciting aspect is the name, it therefore better deliver some miracles.

Ok maybe you do not need to be all kitsch and glittery pink to get people to sit up and take notice of your new concession but it does not hurt. It certainly works for aiming at the magpies of the world (i.e. me).

In the other corner of the ring is the Carine Roitfield, former editor of french Vogue and therefore the harbinger of chic and cool who has collaborated with MAC. She joins a new cult following emerging of Vogue editors who edge it up like constantly papped, Anna Dello Russo, editor of the Japan edition of the style bible.

Carine Roitfield collection for MAC, Google image

Her line is similarly black and minimalistic in uniformity with other usual MAC products however as with all of the celeb inspired ranges it is limited edition. This already helps to give a butterly fluttering. And hark there is something cute and unusual amongst the sleek lip glossies and mascaras, star transfers! Appealing to the sense of teenager in all of us when it comes to dressing up she has added tattoes that you can stick onto you face and outline with eye liner or pencil.

Ingenious! Only one slight problem is that they could be all sold out by the time I publish this post. Darn. Maybe mass produced Boots has its own charm in its ability to help out those less active fashionistas who are not the type to queue up for the new season Kate Moss collection in Topshop and prefer to buy their blusher at the checkout along with their papaya body scrub.

Ding! Ding! That is battle commences or is it the sound of my Advantage card racking up more points?

Free falling for Sky

I have had 'nough of hasbeens - no not the Swedish cool clog variety, I mean these pop stars and presenters who are regurgitated to be at the front of everything around. You cannot turn on the television nowadays without Philip Schofield at the helm and those on the wrong side of forty (Spice Girls) seemed to dominate the Olympics closing ceremony. It makes my teeth hurt.

No Doubt's new album fills me with doubts and just when I became stiffled with predictability so out of the doldrums of mediocre pop comes someone young and exciting. Sky Ferreira. Move over Del Rey who appears to have opted out of the underground circuit for the bright lights of the mainstream. Her collection for H&M has produced some more highly predictable fifties pieces for Autumn. Yawn.

Sky Ferreira at Paris Fashion Week

Ferreira's music is not try hard wacky like Grimes and not too pop to be sickly like Carly Rae Jepsen of Call Me Maybe fame. She does not also fit into the Robyn house music pop artist hybrid and therefore that makes her more appealing. She is just quite good. People like labels but sometimes you just want something to surprise you. It comes out of nowhere like finding an item of clothing in Marks and Spencers that you want to buy and wear. Suddenly it permeates your whole existence and you cannot remember a time without it. Ferreira is some such thing.

Frankenstein is in Vogue again

Frankenstein has follies with fashion. Be it on screen, on stage or in print he comes around cyclically. Now the meglomaniac doctor has unleashed his power on London Fashion Week under the guise of Christopher Kane.

Hopefully Kane will not take the overreaching option and be pecked by eagles whilst being simultaneously tied to a rock.

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His monster appeared on t - shirts in the designer's show whilst other influences of the gothic kind ran through the detailing of the collection as a whole. Even, sometimes, oops, incongruoeusly over a pink dress.

It was as though he was playing off pretty with tough to create a selection of ghoulish masterpieces worthy of many a rock princess.

To pull off such a daring set of design couture proves how much of a stalwart he has become.

Travel a few miles for fashion girl's 9000 miles

Corey Hemingway is showcasing her artist talent in Commercial Street tonight. If you want to be inspired by some original art work check it out.

Girls on Fashion Film

Film appears to be the latest outlet for designer's new season collections. I have always been a huge fan of the two mediums intertwining: The Devil Wears Prada, Tom Ford's A Single Man and The September Issue are all classics.

I am always excited by MinkPink's films as they always keep the motifs of fun and laidback vibes paramount to the action. Clothes are made to be worn. They travel along the bumpy road of life from high points such as your first job or wedding day to the lower points of the break ups and break downs.

In the latest offering model de jour puts the 'juicy' in Juicy Couture as she kicks some chump himbo ass on the beach in some very cool A/W offerings. She is like an edgier Wonder Woman for 2012.

Clothes that reek revenge...served with a pointed stiletto boot heel. A must see.